Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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