no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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