wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
