a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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