You don't have asthma, your pregnant
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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