I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
