All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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