holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
BRING THE BAGELS
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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