moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
