Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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