every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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