There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
