I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
