All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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