wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
