Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
