Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
