And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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