just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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