I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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