Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
