The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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