dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
