hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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