? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
