but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
