It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
