why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
home. puking in laundry basket.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
