Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
