if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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