She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
