I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
