when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
