I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The air was thick with penises
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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