I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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