You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
