belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
