I will die if light touches me.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
