areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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