Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
