her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
