Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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