how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
