Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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