Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
