I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
they call him Oral-B. enough said
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
