Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
