"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
