it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When are your genitals available?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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