I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
