i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
