Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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